It is harmless to complain occasionally because that’s human nature. However, when it becomes a habit, it is like drinking water from the sea; the more we drink the saltwater the thirstier we get.
I recently went for a coffee meeting with a colleague. The restaurant owner was complaining and yelling at his staff in front of all customers. Since my colleague is a regular, I asked her what’s going on and she replied that the owner is always like that and we should carry-on with our business. Do you all notice the problem here?? When someone is always complaining – people get frustrated, stop listening, and ultimately ignore them!
Why do we complain? First of all, it’s an expression of dissatisfaction.
Psychologists categorize Habitual Complaining into three types: A) Chronic: Those who are dissatisfied with pretty much everything and complain all the time.
B) Occasional: These are people who vent their occasional dissatisfaction.
C) Instrumental: These are constructive complainers, for example, parents constantly telling their children that they are not doing enough and should do better with their grades.
Chronic complaining is like being stuck in a rat wheel in the Brain. It rewires our Neurons in a negative way. However, we can do something about it:
1. Try to stay away from people who are chronic complainers.
2. Hold your urge to speak unless there is an absolute need for constructive complaining.
3. Practice a mindfulness exercise such as deep breathing when you feel the trigger to complain.
If we look at the lives of happy and successful people, we find that they are the least to complain. They try to find a solution to an issue instead of complaining. They are more mindful and express themselves in a more strategic and diplomatic manner.
How often do you complain? Do you feel that complaining is becoming a habit for you? If so, what tools have you tried to counteract that?
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